There was a situation that I observed for the past couple of months. It was so frustrating and annoying to hear and see it every single day happening over and over again without any change in approach or action. On the outside it was just one person being to lazy to do something for the other. Now we all have our days and moments where we just don’t want to work or do anything. I can acknowledge that but on everyday basis though? Seriously?
But laziness was the branch of the issue. We learn from the religion of Islam that problems usually have branches which are just the outward manifestations of problems. But to truly fix a problem one has to go deep down through the soil to the roots and cure it from there. In other words, go to the heart.
The problem or issue this particular person had was that they were selfish. Now the word selfish can have a negative connotation but there are many types of selfishness and not all are bad but rather needed at times. But in this particular case it was one person choosing their need of “bumming” it or relaxing over the other person’s need. Now that may be okay sometimes but one really has to think to themselves that is their person’s need more important than my need?
Most of the time when your comparing your “bumming it” need to theirs, they will always have the greater importance.
If any relationship wants to prosper and become bliss then I feel it is incumbent upon those such individuals to become selfless beings. To learn to choose the needs whether they be physically, mental, intellectual, or spiritual of the other over one’s own needs when the time and setting is right. Only when both parties sole purpose is trying to please the other will they find peace and tranquility in their relationship.
If selflessness is to high of a status to aim for then at the very least being considerate would suffice. There’s nothing that ticks me off and boils me over more when I see a person in need and when that person ask’s their partner for assistance they just shrug it off as if they have no heart to begin with.
But it always surprises me to how blind people are of this and how these things just pass by their eyes without even a hint of notice. But then again I can’t blame them. I think the only reason I am like this is first and foremost from the mercy of My Creator upon me and secondly my mother.
Everyone obviously has a soft part for their parents or family and will sometimes exaggerate their qualities out of their love and reverence for them. However, it’s no exaggeration when I say that my mother is one of the most selfless people I have known to point. The way she serves our family tirelessly day in and day out without even asking for the simplest thanks or gratitude is truly something I wish to aspire to. It would bring me great honor and fame if one were to say that I am my mother’s son. To be like her would be a achievement worth striving for. Fortunately, from the grace of God I have been given some of her heavenly qualities innately in my personality that need to be harnesses and developed and hope that my spouse also shares her qualities one day as well.
This started off with anger and became a rant. Later it formed into a reflection and then a solution. It ended with acknowledgment, being grateful, and aspiration.
Sorry for the incoherent emotions.